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High school can be the beginning of many things including friendships, self development, and even romantic relationships. But can the love that starts in high school truly last all throughout and even beyond graduation? You may be thinking right now that high school relationships are just viewed as a temporary, immature, dramatic relationships or even just viewed as “puppy love.” Lots don’t even view teenage love as true love, questioning if teenagers are capable of understanding what real love is. But in reality can true love even be defined by age? For some couples, beginning a relationship in their teenage years can be the start of a lasting partnership. At some point in our lives, most of us have heard an older person share their love story, remembering how they met their sweetheart in their youth or high school, began their relationship as high school sweethearts and have been happily married ever since. Some couples including to share their own “secrets” about how they’ve managed to keep their relationship strong and long lasting. To understand whether high school relationships can truly last, it is important to explore the emotional, social and relationship management factors involved. This topic invites us to look beyond assumptions and ask what helps some couples, who connected in high school, stay together through all of life’s transitions while others grow apart.
Source #1: Couples That Make It Through
On one side of the debate focuses on how maintaining a healthy and steady relationship helps couples stay together beyond high school graduation. In his article, “What It Takes for High School In Love Relationships to Last ,” Carl E Pickhardt emphasizes that a relationship involves commitment and growing together, and that even these elements alone can help build a long term partnership. “The goal of lasting love is not maintaining fatuation but in deepening sense of intimacy and mutual knowing as the relationship grows” (Pickhardt), explaining that instead of focusing on how to “stay in love” is to grow into it. In the beginning of a relationships you don’t automatically go into being in love stage. It all begins with new feelings toward each other, which later develop into a relationship and eventually lead to falling in love. Especially since your growing to know one another into a deeper level getting that stronger bond and connection. Therefore high school relationships give you the chance to not only grow yourself but also with another person into adulthood. This explains why some couples last after graduation and beyond, they know the person they started the relationship with in high school and continue to understand who that person is becoming as an adult. “So to high school couples who are in love just because developing lasting love is difficult doesn’t mean the challenge is not worth a try” (Pickhardt). Putting the effort for most is the key to a long lasting relationship beyond high school.
Source #2 Couples Not Making It Through High School
The opposing side views starting a relationship at a young age where you’re still growing and developing yourself, and high school takes up most of your time where keeping a relationship isn’t manageable. In her article, “ What Percent of High School Relationships Last?,” Nathalie Maximets explains that while starting a relationship in high school can be sweet, the lack of time, challenges after graduation, and different paths taken by couples often prevent relationships from lasting. “The inability to balance the search for self identity and intimacy often leads to a crisis in the relationship” (Maximets), stating that in high school your figuring out and growing into the person you are in those four years, but also carrying a relationship to hold can become difficult. In some cases, couples experience the early stages of teenage love, but as they mature into adulthood they may find they are no longer compatible. Also mentioning, time management is difficult not only during high school but also after graduation. If partners have different plans for college, one may move away and long distance relationships don’t always tend to work out. “But not everyone can cope with the feelings of mistrust and jealousy that arise during a long separation” (Maximets), having that long separation can be frustrated for one or both in the relationship. This is one of the reasons why many couples break up and don’t stay together after high school.
Similarities & Differences
For this debate, there are many points of similarity and differences. One of the biggest similarity I found is that, for a relationship to last, you need to see a feature with your partner. No matter what pathway you and your partner take after high school, if the love is there, it can lead to a long lasting relationship. Pickhardt states that “[t]he beginning of lasting love starts with a mutual sense of belonging together in a relationship that is worth building their feature upon” (Pickhardt), while Maximets stating in her own version is that while being love it connects to “romantically being involved adolescents can describe their union as exclusive and supportive on all levels, they are more likely to add to the small percentage of high school relationships that last through all way to college” (Maximets). Both agree that if the love is strong, couples can make it work after high school. However , the two sides don’t agree with everything. One of the biggest differences in these viewpoints is that Maximets believes early high school relationships often don’t last because tens grow apart, while Pickhardt sees those years as a time for couples to grow closer. High school are the years that teenagers typically tend to find their personality. But they also develop it because teenagers are not the same person from freshman year comparing to senior year. “Teenagers are not yet able to fully accept each other the way they do at an older age” (Maximets), stating that the maturity level is not there yet causing them to separate. Pickhardt differs from Maximets by suggesting that growing into maturity together is what helps couples stay together during and after high school. Learning new “qualities and characteristics in each other that are worth the price of accepting imperfections” (Pickhardt), is what Pickhardt points out that growing with each other, your getting to learn more and more about your partner. Although the authors differ on whether couples last through high school and beyond, both agree that building love during high school is a beautiful experience.
Strength & Weaknesses
Each side of the argument has their own strengths and weaknesses in this debate. Natalie Maximets gives clear points on why a relationship can’t last after high school, and one of her strengths is explaining the reasons and how they affect teenage relationships. She discusses details like time management and growing apart. One of her weaknesses is that she focuses mostly on statistics without providing enough explanation, which may leave readers wanting more context on why couples don’t last after high school.
Carl Pickhardt has his own version for strengths and weaknesses for his side of this debate. Instead of focusing on statistics he focuses on actually couples that did all last through high school and beyond. Providing background information and then explaining how couples can last is what makes his debate strong. One of his weaknesses is the lack of additional information. He mostly focuses on one topic which is how to grow into love instead of growing away from it. Packhardt does mention other points, but he doesn’t go into much detail. Neither article succeeds or fails completely in this debate.
Compromise
Neither side fully persuades us to take one side since both present a valid strengths and weaknesses. Both sides having a strong argument for their different opposing side. Both having their key factors that make this argument natural with their strengths and weaknesses meeting in the middle. Maximets emphasizes how time, maturity, and future plans can affect whether couples grow apart, while Pickhardt highlights emotional growth and shared commitment as key to staying together. In my opinion it truly depends on the couple. Some couples may be more emotionally mature or better at communicating, which helps them overcome challenges. Others might not have the same level of connection or shared goals, making it harder to stay together. From personal experience I’ve been in my relationship since my middle school times and now in college getting both our degrees. But I’ve also seen couples that drifted apart and not being able to make it after high school graduation but comparing those couples to us, we were not alike. Every couple is different in high school and most likely you will never see a couple that’s the same. In the end, whether a high school relationship lasts or not, depends on a variety of factors like timing, personal growth, emotional maturity and communication. These factors can either strengthen or challenge the relationship.
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